Is the Strong Black Woman Archetype Killing us?
- Shani L. Farmer
- May 2, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 2, 2024

Yes, black women are miraculous by our birthright. We birth children, lead Fortune 500 companies, and even become the Vice President of America.
However, as we embrace new roles, is the strong black woman archetype killing us?
How many times have you heard a black woman say, "I don't need a man. I can do bad all by myself." Although independence is something to revere and admire - after all, throughout history, it was the black woman who continuously held the family down - is this mindset more detrimental than advancing?
It seems to be a badge of honor for black women to spout how much we are able to live life without a supportive partner; or simply be wonder woman and do it all without a second thought. Why does it seem as though black women are the only group of women that vocally pride ourselves on "not needing a man". When we sit back and think about it, is this really sustainable to achieve a less stressful lifestyle? Or do we define this attitude and behavior as success? If you ask me, it's deep-rooted generational trauma that we need to urgently shed.
With the month of March being devoted to women, we will be using it as a springboard to discuss more controversial topics that help us to dig deeper into what real "self-care" is all about.
The Top 5: ARE YOU DROWNING?

5 Things To Do When Doing It All Becomes Too Much:
1. Admit it: In today's society, it seems as though self-sacrifice is the ultimate way women can show how capable we are to be leaders. But, what if I told you that this mindset will kill you? The first step to pulling yourself out of a hole is to admit to yourself and others that you need help.
2. Map Out Your Task: Have you ever took the time to write down everything you do; better yet, even adding the time it takes to get it done? Take out a pad of paper (or your laptop) and create a calendar of your week to help you "see" what you are spending your time on. I would suggest creating a Monday-Sunday calendar.
3. Rearrange Your Calendar: Now that you have created your current calendar, you must be strategic with your time. Make sure you block off at least 1 hour of personal time a day. If that isn't possible, start small. Choose 1 day a week that you dedicate an hour to yourself, and slowly work up 1 hour a day. Remember sis, during your hour, you are only allowed to do things for you, no-one else.
4. Learn to Say, "No": No is a complete sentence. I know you want to be everything for everyone, but there comes a time when you have to draw the line and take yourself into consideration. With your newly formed calendar, practice maintaining that calendar by telling people "no" when you can't (or don't want to) add additional task to your plate. It is okay to decline.
5. Find Your Safe Space: We all need a place where we feel safe to vent, express emotion, and truly unwind. If you don't have a trusted group of friends or family, now is the time to find a local or remote therapist that will be there when you a listening hear.


Comments